I often see negative aspects of dependence and co-dependency in the Full Akashic Records and Soul Profile readings, however, I’ve noticed it isn’t always as clear cut as mainstream and popular media make it out to be.
Emotional dependence is when you sacrifice your emotional well-being or needs and prioritize others.
Co-dependence is when you sacrifice your needs, time, well-being, or energy in order to feel valued in the relationship.
Check out this article for a deeper look into it, here we are looking at the energetics
of an unhealthy dependence on relationships, and a compelling need to control others.
Here’s a quick overview of the ways it can manifest in your life:
- The Golden Child: An overwhelming need or desire to please your family/tribe in order to feel belonging, acceptance, or safety. This can look like catering to others’ needs or sacrificing your beliefs, welfare, or energy to assist or do for them.
- Toxic Empath: Taking on others’ emotions, in an attempt to relieve them of the emotions, in order to feel safety, peace, love, or control. This also shows up as the need to turn someone’s mood around.
- Damsel: When the dependency is active at the solar plexus, this tends to show up as the helpless person who doesn’t know how to do something or is constantly limited in their ability to do things for themselves and will recruit others to guide them or do for them. There’s often a lot of fear of negative judgment internally playing out as well. In this case, often the benefit or reward received from being helpless is greater than the problem that being helpless causes, we call this secondary gain.
- Social Butterfly: The ones the need to be involved in everyone’s relationships and be in the know at all times. They may also go out of their way for everyone in their lives. This often gives them a sense of personal safety and belongingness.
- Chameleon: When their thoughts and opinions of you are the driving force behind your choices, words, and self-expression. A need to fit in and belong at the cost of your own preferences and ideals.
- Follower: This is often where one doesn’t know what they want in their life and spend their time chasing others’ dreams instead of discovering what they want. They can often attach themselves to those they see as leaders or authority figures and follow their instructions or guidance explicitly.
- Unsure Includer: Similar to the Follower, these people often do not know what they want and are confused about their available choices and will often ask others for their opinions or what they would do in the situation to get an answer for how to move forward.
Recognizing how it shows up in your life is one of the most powerful ways that you can begin to shift this behavior and be able to start feeling truly valued and appreciated in your life.
If any of these resonate, make sometime each day to notice where you were deferring to others and what specifically you did at that moment. Then, write down the warning signs that led up to it.
Often we have certain conditions that are met prior to triggering the behavior. Anxiety, fear, worry, personal narratives, insecurities, and so on can all be part of the conditions that are present and lead up to codependent choices.
The more we become self-reliant, the more freedom we have to create a life where we feel love, belongingness, joy, and peace.
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