HomeBlogGrowthConfessions of a (recovering) people-pleaser: The waiting game.

Confessions of a (recovering) people-pleaser: The waiting game.


As a people pleaser, you know how you tend to prioritize everyone and everything else before yourself?

I have story for you… It’s funny how something so innocuous as a suggested article can flip your world upside down. My google news feed knows I like a lot of science based content so it suggested an article about microplastics (p.s. unless you want your day ruined- don’t research it). To spare you the details and jump to my point, all you need to know is the article pointed out that the problem is really bad, pervasive, and without a solution.

Are you a people pleaser?

As a fixer (courtesy of my people pleasing tendencies, I’m sure), my default is to think about the problem and how to go about fixing it—but it is SUCH A MASSIVE ISSUE—which then led to me getting overwhelmed and frustrated about it and I found myself asking, “Why have we not done anything about this yet? Why does it have to be a full blown crisis before we start fixing things?! It’s so much easier to address a problem when it first becomes an issue!” Hard stop. Immediately after that thought finished, it flipped on it’s head and my brain went, “Yeah, Ashley- why do you let things get to a crisis point before you decide to fix them?!” UGH. Gotta love being called out by your own dang self, right?!

As soon as the question was flipped over to me, my brain was oh so kind enough to start pulling up receipts, laying out time after time in the most subtle and obvious ways that I myself have done that very thing. Including: -how long I waited to get the giant crack in my windshield replaced. -how long I waited to get new tires, instead of having them checked for a leak.

The Waiting Game

-Waiting to get an injury checked out and just enduring it, only to need surgery by the time I did get it looked at (my Toxic Independence Era circa 2020, by the way, but my brain still reminds me of this fact).

When a problem feels too big and overwhelming- I like to just shut down and ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist until I literally can’t. The challenge is, if the problem doesn’t create enough pain for me, I tend to put it off. As a people pleaser, I have a REALLY high threshold for tolerating crud.

I’ve been working on readjusting my pain tolerance threshold, and I’m fortunate enough that I am finally at a point where I’m not waiting for a tire to blow out or a windshield to completely bust before I fix it, but sometimes it still catches me.

Yup. I’m guilty. Are you??

The good news is, it’s much easier for an outsider to see the situation for what it is, and while I may still be breaking the habit, I’ve become a pro at catching it earlier and earlier and can teach you my top tricks to breaking the cycles of toleration and help you learn how to identify issues and resolve them before they hit crisis level.

Breaking cycles takes intention, consistency, and diligence, which is easier when you have support and accountability. If you are tired of tolerating so much and want to become more proactive instead of reactive, join me in my 6 month transformation program where you can learn more about yourself, your personal karmic cycles, and get support breaking them for good! Schedule your consult today!

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