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Finding Growth in Life’s Chaos


When chaos takes hold, we are often tempted to duck and cover, but when we do, we miss out on many opportunities to grow.

This week, here are some things to watch out for as we work through the chaotic energy. For many of us, chaos isn’t a pleasant experience and we fall into old coping mechanisms to help us get through it, but by doing so, we miss out on the opportunities that the chaos is bringing us. These common coping mechanisms keep us from paying attention to the areas that we need to rebuild and prevent us from our personal growth.

  1. Avoidance: A friend of escapism and distraction below, avoidance is a common tactic we use to occupy ourselves with anything BUT the problems being presented. This can show up as fixating on tasks, losing ourselves in a book, keeping ourselves busy, or simply going out of our way to avoid a person or topic in any way we can come up with.
  2. Disassociation: This is when we mentally check out. We let our bodies go on autopilot and become a shell of who we are. It may feel like you are floating through the day, or a sense of brain fog, as if your head is in the clouds. You may also notice you feel numb or too detached. This is a huge warning sign for you. If we aren’t present, we cannot influence positive change in the situation.
  3. Withdrawal and Isolation: There’s nothing wrong with a small reprieve to bring yourself a bit of peace and a chance to recharge, but if you find yourself constantly hiding out, chances are you are missing out. Some prefer this strategy to avoid conflict or disappointment, if this is the case, I would encourage you to do your best to explore the issue with the people you are avoiding and ask yourself what you need from them to feel accepted, loved, appreciated, safe, or whatever other part you seem to be lacking from the experience.
  4. Compensating through Control: This one is for my Sister, but we all know someone who seems to go overboard with control and taking on a managerial role (especially those with strong Virgo placements). Their way of managing the chaos is to metaphorically snatch all the flying debris out of the air and try to organize it and put it back in place, feeling frantic and tense. They may try to recruit others to help them keep the fort held down, dishing out orders and holding on tight to the reigns of control. If this is you, first- BREATHE. Make a list of all of the things you are trying to do. THEN, be HONEST- What is ACTUALLY within your control (see the graphic below for a quick reality check) and scratch off anything that doesn’t fit. Find ways to step away and find inner peace and focus your energy on things you can control.
  5. Escapism and Distractions: This is an overindulgence of ANYTHING. Commonly most think of drugs or alcohol when it comes to escapism, but this can be social outings, cooking, gaming, or anything else that comes in excess. A friend of avoidance, this can cause much bigger problems, and in some cases, lull you into a false sense of security. Proverbially speaking- to bury your head in the sand can cause one to suffocate. If you find yourself engaging in excessive tactics to escape your situation, it may be time to be honest with yourself about what you are avoiding, how it makes you feel, and what you need in order to feel safe and secure in your environment.

In the past, when chaos took over, I found myself engaging in a bit of it all. I would try to avoid and escape it, often through mobile games or binge learning something new, while also trying to hold onto excessive amounts of control. The discomfort would cause me to disassociate and check out, while also withdrawing and feeling isolated too. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t seem to feel like I was really connected and belonged. To remedy that, control was my down fall. I would obsess and avoid the issues through my inner desire for control. Giving instructions and orders made me feel like I was making a positive change, but I was always met with resistance from everyone and more chaos seemed to unfold.

I kept getting the Emperor card for the longest time. Control it screamed, it’s time to let yourself unwind. I didn’t get if for a while. Surrender felt like failure and giving up, or leaving the fight. One day it all clicked and I finally realized, that trying to control was almost like a fight. If you were floating along a stream, by surrendering, letting go- it seemed, then you would float and begin to flow, always heading downstream. By controlling the flow, fighting, and control, you would sink and be unable to float. It’s like insisting you swim yourself upstream, expending so much energy. Yet you find yourself in the same place, and only through true surrender will you find your place. So let yourself be carried along, the stream itself can never lead you wrong.

If you are wondering what the opportunities that chaos brings us, I invite you to check out yesterday’s blog to learn more and how you can lean into your inner confidence to unlock hidden ambitions and dreams.

Schedule your personal call today while you have this stream! Together we can achieve your innermost dreams.

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