HomeBlogBoundariesNavigating Life’s Rules: A Guide to Personal Empowerment

Navigating Life’s Rules: A Guide to Personal Empowerment

Date:

Overview:

Rules are always a fun and interesting topic to explore. I know most of y’all are probably inwardly cringing at the word, but stay with me! I’m not just talking about your parents’ rules that you had to follow, I’m also talking about those very subtle, foundational beliefs about how to live your life.

Most of us were told as children to not get into a car with strangers, to look both ways before crossing the street, to do our chores before we could play, and to clean up our mess. Those are the more obvious rules that helped shape and guide our current habits and behaviors, but the more subtle ones that we picked up unconsciously are the ones that often have the most impact on us throughout our lives.

For example, we observed adults gossiping about one another and sharing information given to them in confidence enough that we learned to be careful who we open up to. We were always told to get over our feelings when we were upset and learned to never display such feelings to others or that no one cares how we feel. I could go on, but I think you get my point.

Rules shape our foundations, worldview, and way of life. They have a huge impact on so much of how we habitually behave and perceive the world. So when we find ourselves feeling cheated by life- that’s our cue to start digging deeper and looking at whose rules we are still following and figure out what rules we want to follow instead.

Navigating Life’s Rules: A Guide to Personal Empowerment

The Challenge:

Growing up, rules were created by our parents and others in authority. Then as teens, we began adopting and following rules that we perceived from our peers and society. It isn’t until we reach adulthood that we find the freedom to begin creating our own rules, but often we instead stick with the defaults that we learned in our younger years.

These rules are rarely ever explored or questioned and often we aren’t even aware that we are following them. This isn’t something that most of us often spend time contemplating, especially because it happens so unconsciously that it’s rarely ever brought into our awareness, but we are quick to know when someone violates one of those unspoken rules and often greet their behavior with outrage, shock, or anger. If someone cuts in line, changes lanes without a turn signal, holds up a line by moving slowly, speaks loudly in a public space, or does anything else that you find disagreeable- there’s a good chance that there’s a rule that you live by hidden underneath that reaction. When someone makes a choice that violates one of our internal rules and seems to get away with it- we feel cheated and tell ourselves stories about the perceived injustice.

Go ahead. I am sure you can think of more than a few times that has happened to you. Take a moment to comment them below.

These moments allow us to explore what rules we are following and begin to question them before we decide if they should stay or go.

Gaining Clarity:

As you begin to explore those rules, it’s important to notice whose rule it was, to begin with, and if it’s relevant to your current life. We will never feel like we can win if we spend our time playing by someone else’s rules. We let others’ ideas of what we ‘should’ be doing, and how we ‘should’ live our life become our guiding force, only to never feel satisfied and instead feel like life isn’t fair and is full of injustice.

The Deeper Issue:

We spent much of our formative years trying to follow the rules and guidelines that were set for us, and we were often punished for not following them. Though it may have been with the best intentions in mind, we were never allowed to try to create our own rules and instead forced to obey and do as we were told.

At some point, we stopped trying to change things and just started going along with what was expected of us, and probably adopted some unhealthy beliefs around it and ourselves along the way.

Going against the grain will probably feel scary and unnerving after so many years of following orders, but if we want that deep satisfaction and want to finally be recognized for our effort, we have to start by acknowledging that our sense of self-worth isn’t dictated by how ‘good’ we are at following someone else’s rules and fitting in. The only approval you need is your own, but how can you ever give that to yourself if you are too busy playing someone else’s game?

Different Perspectives:

If you aren’t playing your own game by your own rules, how are you ever going to feel like you have won? How are you expected ever to find a sense of approval and satisfaction from life if it’s not even yours that you are trying to live?

Though our inner child may have been convinced that we are only worthy and deserving when we follow instructions, meet someone else’s expectations, and play by the rules they set for us, we have to start by first figuring out what we, ourselves, would approve of and what makes us feel good. Our worth and value have been there from the start, there are no conditions that need to be met to receive it. So, it comes down to you. What would make you feel good? If you were talking to the child you once were, what would they be proud to know about you and how you turned out?

Our game, our rules means we get to decide what we want and how we show up in the world.

New Opportunities Presented:

At a leadership training graduation one year, we had this guest speaker come on. I can’t recall who he was or what all was said, but there was one piece that has always stuck with me. The speaker told all of us young leaders that day, ‘Everyone you meet will give you a tool to add to your toolbox. Not every tool will be useful though. Some will teach you things that you don’t want to do and how you don’t want to be as a leader. Sometimes they give you knowledge on what works, and what doesn’t work, but you have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and use those experiences to shape you into the leader that you want to be.’ I might have added more to his statement, but that is what I understood at that moment. Sometimes people show us the opposite of what is true for us, but it doesn’t make it any less useful. That knowledge can help us find what does resonate, and what does feel right for us.

With that in mind, what if all those rules we were taught were there to help us find our own and give us ideas and inspiration to make up our lives the way we wanted to? What would happen if we used all of those experiences to guide us into creating our own rules to follow?

The Choice Ahead:

If you are curious about whose rules you are living by and how it has impacted you in your day-to-day life, I have the perfect Akashic Records Reading for you. In the Soul Purpose and Gifts reading, you can quickly discover who you are at Soul level and how you were created to show up in this world, your talents and gifts that you were born with, as well as the lessons and themes you are working to learn in this lifetime and how they are impacting you. The lessons will give you a strong starting point to reflect on the rules you live by, and the Soul Blueprint will point you in the direction of what changes you need to make to live more fully as your true self. If you are tired of feeling cheated and ready to take back your life, click the link to schedule your reading now.

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