HomeBlogLife GuidanceNavigating the Path to Personal Growth by Overcoming Fear

Navigating the Path to Personal Growth by Overcoming Fear


Fear is hardwired into us. Its function is to keep us alive and safe, but often it gets activated when we are working on stretching beyond our comfort zone and trying something new. Our ego and fear go hand in hand, using our past to help guide us forward and cataloging anything previously experienced as safe— after all, we didn’t die.

Recent research into epigenetics and genetics has shown that our ancestors’ fears and experiences are also passed down to us to ensure that we can survive as a species, but often those old ancestral fears are outdated. In past generations, you had to be accepted by the community to thrive and exile was as good as a death sentence. Now we have a lot more freedom to express our thoughts, opinions, and identities than we had in those past generations, yet we still have a deep need to feel accepted and welcomed within a community and if not, the fear kicks in and warns us that our safety is in jeopardy.

So how do we navigate this newfound freedom when it seems that the need to fit in is hard-wired into our existence? The answer isn’t as complicated as you might think, it’s simply really. We each have unique needs that allow us to thrive; physiological needs, safety needs, esteem needs, and belonging needs take precedence before we can reach self-actualization needs, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. While we may have our physiological needs met, our safety needs are often left for the unconscious mind to resolve. When safety needs aren’t met, we find ourselves constantly in fear, anxiety, and worry. It can also persuade us to stay in situations that we may not enjoy and are detrimental to our well-being.

This leaves us paralyzed, stuck, and stagnant, too scared to change things for ourselves, even if we desperately want it. Often I notice that to gain enough courage to change the circumstances, the person has to hit a point where they cannot tolerate the situation any longer. They’ve had enough.

Personal Growth and Overcoming Fear
Follow your path to personal growth to overcome fear.

If we want to expand our comfort zone without waiting for the point of no return, we need to ensure that we know our safety needs and have a safety net in place to support us in moving through the fear so that we can create a new experience, and with enough repetition, our ego will learn that it too can be survived.

You see, if we aren’t consciously fulfilling our needs, our unconscious mind will get them met in the best way it knows how. This often creates problems in the conscious experience. We will forgo esteem needs if our safety needs aren’t met. This is how someone can stay in a relationship where they are made to feel inadequate, as long as the safety need of stability is being fulfilled.

If your fears are centered around being accepted by the community, family, or social group, it may help to find supportive communities to lean into, and start to evaluate the relationships you have. Do they support YOU, or the person they want you to be, or the person you are pretending to be?

If you are trying to move through the fear, take time to figure out what your needs are in each category and evaluate how each need is met in your life. After that, look at the change you want to create and what your unconscious needs to feel safe enough to make those changes, then develop a plan to ensure they are met. That is how we transform fear and move through it.

If you are struggling to connect with your unconscious mind and figure out your needs, I invite you to set up a consultation call with me to discuss ways I can support you in creating the changes you wish to see in your life.

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