Understanding Humility
What have you heard about humility? I was always taught that it was something to be desired in a person and a mark of good character, but now, I think that’s a bold-faced lie. Let me tell you why.
When we are taught to be humble, we learn to downplay ourselves and our achievements. We dismiss compliments and keep ourselves small in an effort to be humble, but that just leads to bitterness over time. Imagine charging someone $100 to clean their house and when they go to pay you and tell you what a great job you did, you deny it and insist on them only giving you $20 instead. That’s a bit ridiculous if you ask me.
The Challenges of Humility
The biggest challenge with humility is that it always makes us undersell ourselves. This teaches our unconscious mind that we are not worthy or deserving. It affects every aspect of our lives, creating more bitterness and resentment.
Humility is usually a passive approach to seeking approval and recognition. It’s a flawed strategy because we don’t allow ourselves to receive it when we do get it. Eventually, people will stop trying. If you’ve ever heard me use the phrase “toxic humility” that’s exactly what I’m describing. I did this for YEARS and instead of getting what I needed, I felt invalidated, overlooked, and unappreciated.
Modesty vs. Humility
The answer isn’t modesty though. Modesty is about having a moderate opinion of oneself whereas humility is about having a low opinion of oneself. So what is the answer? How do we stop underselling ourselves and ending up bitter?
Many of us might think that the answer is the opposite concept. This is something I see a lot of people fall into, but arrogance leaves no space for growth and repels the validation you seek just like humility and modesty do.
Embracing Realistic Honesty and Self-Awareness
Realistic honesty and self-awareness are the keys. If we take that approach, we would be owning our value and contributions while still giving ourselves the space to seek improvement, evolution, and growth. It’s the middle ground that lets us celebrate and own our achievements without downplaying them. It also prevents us from getting so caught up in our achievements that we have no room to grow more.
Applying This to Your Life
How could that look for you? Are there areas in your life where you have constantly downplayed yourself for the sake of humility and not offending others that you need to start owning? Let’s hear them in the comments!
Download the worksheet below to help you on your path to realistic honesty and self-awareness while saying bye-bye to the bitterness.
You’re welcome to reach out to me by email or by scheduling a call if you find yourself struggling to let go of that old habit of humility. It’s time to start celebrating ourselves! Let’s chat. In 6 months, imagine what your life could look like and what you could not only achieve, but own out loud.